Wakey, Wakey Sleepyhead!
by Broken Wings Can't Fly
Summary: They slowly turned around to face three very angry women Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. Oneshot.


1696 words.

BPOV

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. My throat burned as I let out an ear splitting scream. Just screamed. No words, no distinguishable sound of what might have been considered or mistaken for a word, nothing but a screeching, more high pitched than a car when a driver is trying to kill him or her self by burning the brakes, louder than a baby's need for food, a scream that only a red-blooded female can make when annoyed.

"Damn alarm clock! What the heck! I'd rather be woken up by a freaking bucket of ice water!" I screeched like a banshee when a second later ice cubes and freezing water drenched me. I heard booming laughter and a higher, but still completely amused, chortle coming from near my window and threw my highly annoying alarm clock to where I assumed Emmett and Jasper were. I heard the sound of glass breaking and the laughter grow louder. Finally, I pried my eyes open and glared a glare that _would_ have killed them, if they hadn't already been dead that is. Jasper immediately stopped laughing when he felt my wrath and looked at my face, rapidly smacking Emmett in the stomach to get him to shut up. Emmett glanced at me and started to take small steps towards the window. Knowing that Charlie wasn't home by the fact that I had just screamed my head off and he hadn't dashed here already, I took a deep breath and screamed the name of the one and only person who could save me now.

"ESME!" (AN: haha - you thought i was going to say Edward! nope - now back to the story)

As soon as I yelled, I made tears come out of my big beautiful brown eyes. Emmett and Jasper looked very surprised to see this, and Emmett even looked a little proud that I was using this battle tactic.

"You're proud of her?!"

"What?! It's a smart move, you have to admit - but she didn't anticipate-" here Emmett paused, proud of himself to use such a big word correctly, "-us tying Edward up!"

"You IDIOT! She didn't call Edward - she called ESME!"

Emmett's already pale face blanched, his gasp being heard by all.

I, of course still having tears roll down my face, whimpered and held my arms out to be comforted.

"Mommy." Jasper and Emmett's bodies went rigid, remembering that I had recently started calling Esme and Carlisle 'Mommy and Daddy'. They slowly turned around to face three **very** angry women - Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. Esme immediately came to comfort me, picking me up and sitting down with me in her lap on the edge of the bed, one of the few parts that wasn't completely soaked, gently stroking my hair, both of us watching Emmett and Jasper shrink away from their wives.

"No sex for a month," stated Rosalie, calm but firm.

"A MONTH! BUT...BUT..."

"**THREE MONTHS!**"

At this point, Emmett was on the ground begging - no, groveling - flat on the ground at Rosalie's feet. Rosalie walked over and joined us on the bed. Alice stepped up and gave Jasper his punishment.

"No books, no computer, no messing with people's emotions for fun. For a month." Jasper just nodded silently, accepting his punishment.

"I'm sorry Bella," apologized Jasper, hitting Emmett in the stomach again.

"I'm sorry too," added Emmett right before they left, both of them eager to get away.

"So, Alice, Rosalie-"

"Rose," she said with a smile.

"-Okay, Rose, not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?"

"Well, we knew Emmett and Jasper were gone, but so was Edward, because they were all out for a quick hunt. Originally though, it had just been Edward, but Emmett and Jasper went along because they had been complaining that they never got to have any 'quality time' together as brothers anymore. So when it got really late, Carlisle and us went out to look for them, and found Edward tied up. Then we heard you scream, so us three came over here to help you, although you were doing pretty well by yourself. Right now, they're definitely thinking about how lucky they were with our punishments - well, Jasper is, Emmett is definitely not jumping with joy over Rose's punishment. But what they don't know is that we found Edward and that Carlisle untied him."

"And they also don't know just how mad Edward is. Jasper just_thinks_ he has a general idea," said Carlisle while climbing through the open window. "Edward said to meet him at the traffic square in about 30 minutes, there's going to be some sort of a show put on by our very own Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale."

Now, the really strange thing about Forks is that although it has a traffic square, it's really a circle. The circle is in the middle of little shops and businesses, and is generally considered the heart of Forks. They held citywide dances there, and made important announcements there too. But today, our wonderful city of Forks was going to get a _very_ special show.

We just sat around for about 5 minutes before Rose blurted out, "I'm sorry Bella."

"Sorry? For what?" Alice, Esme, and Carlisle were quiet, watching us.

"For being so mean to you all this time."

"Actually, I was okay with it."

"Really? Why?"

"Because nobody's really ever hated me. It was kind of nice. Lauren was the first to not like me, but she just sits and glares at me. You fought against having me around. You'd walk out of a room when I entered, and did a number of other things. Back in Phoenix, nobody liked me, and nobody disliked me, I was just a part of the scenery to everyone outside my family."

"Wait, so you like me because I hated you?"

"Yup!"

Everything was silent for a second, with everyone just looking at me, before they all burst out laughing, me shaking because I was still in Esme's lap and she was laughing so hard.

"Edward was right, you definitely are weird," Rose said.

"Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Yeah, you see, there is an age old saying that has been passed down my family for generations: 'Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. And if you are weird – be proud of it!' " More laughter followed my speaking.

"Come on Bella, let's go see what Edward made Emmett and Jasper do," said Rose picking me up off of Esme's lap and slinging me onto her back. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, I don't run as fast as Edward," said Rose. I hesitantly did.

"Wow, I never realized just how beautiful the forest could be while traveling at the speed of light." I just got more laughs.

Too soon, I jumped off of Rose's back because we were at the traffic 'square'. There was a crowd gathering, so no one saw us run out us the forest, me still soaking wet in my pajamas.

In the middle of the crowd were two pink, frilly, puffy blobs. Those blobs were none other than Emmett and Jasper in tutus. There was no noise in the traffic square. Everyone just stared. I giggled. One giggle was all it took, and the whole crowd burst out laughing at Emmett and Jasper. They were taking turns glaring at Edward and I. But they wouldn't do anything because they knew they were going to get lectures from Mommy and Daddy, apart from the punishments already given by their wives.

Edward jogged over to us, but tore into a _human_ sprint when he saw how wet I was, wrapping me up in his arms, cradling me like you would a baby.

"What happened sweetie? Why were you crying," he crooned softly into my ear.

"Big mean men wet me," I said gesturing to the pink blobs.

"And how did the big mean men wet you," he asked, in a soft baby voice.

"They threw ice cubes and really, really, really cold water at me," I said with a sniffle, blinking back tears. "I'm wet and I'm cold, and they ruined my bed too."

"Shh… It's okay, the big mean men are going to pay for what they did to you, and we'll by you a new bed."

"Okay, but the bed has top be the same size."

"Anything for you love," he whispered, well, for a human anyways. "Now, to cheer you up."

He put me down and calmly walked back to where Emmett and Jasper were, and stood between them.

"Now, to the great people of Forks, I give you the amazing Fergalicious stylings of Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale!" And with that note, Fergalicious by Fergie started playing. Emmett started to dance forgetting that people were watching him and that he was in a tutu. He got really into it, then he pulled Jasper to him and started to dance with him. The scary thing was, Emmett was really good. The crowd was speechless until the song finished, then it erupted into laughter. Emmett finally seemed to remember where he was and ran off the stage, Jasper chased after him, both of them being followed by the laughter of the crowd.

When we finally got back to the house, Alice took to her room so I could change, and Edward disappeared into his room for a while then he went off to the school. When he came back I asked him why he went there, but he refused to say anything about it, so I gave up, he took me home, where there was already a new mattress, don't ask me, because I sure don't know, but was too tired to care, and I fell sleep to the humming my lullaby.

The next morning when Edward drove me to school I saw HUGE posters of Jasper and Emmett in all of yesterday's glory over the ENTIRE school.

"So that's where you went last night." Edward just smiled at me.


End file.
